


Detective Danny Williams

by IllusionsAreNotSoSimple



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Coda 3.03, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, POV Danny "Danno" Williams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-23
Updated: 2012-10-23
Packaged: 2017-11-16 21:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/544192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IllusionsAreNotSoSimple/pseuds/IllusionsAreNotSoSimple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the fishing trip goes to hell Steve decides that taking Danny on a date to his childhood spots is not going to get the job done. Since he never got the image of Danny sitting in his boxers watching television out of his head he decides that maybe that's a better option for the next date. He would never mind seeing Danny like that and at home in the weekend their dat shouldn't get interrupted. And maybe at the end of the day he wouldn't even need to go home. He had to do it right though. So that saturday he bought malasada's and then restlessly sat around waiting until it would be late enough to go to Danny's. The clock wouldn't hurry up so at 8.15 he decided that is was late enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Detective Danny Williams

“Morning Danno.” A bright light was shining in his eyes when he tried to open them to glare at Steve. Because who else would invite himself in to his apartment on his day off in the early morning.

He grumbled something unintelligent, turned around and willed Steve to turn around and leave him alone. For a moment he thought that it worked. But a moment later he heard sounds from the kitchen. Before he could wake up enough to identify the sounds, the smell of coffee filled the room. He grumbled some more, grabbed the closest pare of pants and shuffled in to the kitchen to grab the mug filled with coffee. On the table he saw the bag that should contain malasada’s and he made a grab for them. Without even looking at Steve he sat down, drunk his coffee and ate two malasada’s. After he was done he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This morning wasn’t so bad even though it was only 8.30. He knew Steve probably woke up a lot earlier so he had let him sleep late. And since when was that comforting to know?

When he finally looked up at Steve he wished he hadn’t. Steve was sitting across the table, sipping coffee and smiling at him like there wasn’t a trouble in the world. He looked beautiful like that. The sun coming in from behind him made a beautiful play of his features, not that his features could be anything but beautiful, and the content smile was heart warming. And when did that happen? Danny knew that he wasn’t a morning person and that his brain wasn’t entirely online yet, but this was ridiculous. So he opened his mouth to say something, anything but he couldn’t find any words. Steve’s smile just broadened while he kept silent.

“What?” Danny finally croaked out and damn his sleepy voice. Steve’s eyes crinkled as he laughed and finally repeated the words he said before, “Morning Danno”.

Danny was just sitting there watching Steve. He had never seen Steve look so content and happy. He decided that he really liked that look, he really really liked that look. He probably liked that look to much but he couldn’t (and okay, he didn’t want to) stop the warm feeling that came over him. So he just smiled while he said, “you could say _good_ morning Steven”, but there was no heat behind his words.

“I wasn’t aware that you knew such things as good mornings Daniel.”

“This comes pretty close.” Danny smiles because Steve was in a good mood and he didn’t want to ruin that.

Steve smiled at that, that great goofy smile that made Danny feel things in his gut that he didn’t want to admit to. “So what do you want to do today?” Steve actually asked him and Danny threw him a stunned look. “What do I want to do? You come barging in here at 8.30 in the morning on my day off in the weekend to ask me what I want to do? Maybe I have plans this weekend? Plans that don’t involve you! Maybe I just planned on sleeping late. You know I’m not by default planning to spent the weekend with you right?” As soon as he said it he bites his tong. Damn his Jersey mouth. He didn’t mean to say that, he didn’t mean to say anything. It was just his default mode and didn’t he hate that right now. He finally looked over at Steve again to apologise.

Steve had gotten up and was walking towards the door. Danny tried to stop him, “Steve, I didn’t mean it like that”, and Steve stopped. He turned around, palms up in surrender, his face guarded and his eyes filled with sadness and hurt. Steve had been through so much, he had suffered so much, and still Danny had never seen him this hurt or sad.

“It’s okay Danny, go back to bed.” And with that he walked out leaving a stunned Danny behind.

  

* * *

 

 

Danny had tried calling him a couple of times that weekend, but he only got Steve’s voicemail. He hadn’t stopped going over the conversation and the things he said, but he couldn’t figure out what it was that hurt Steve so much. He had after all never said anything he hadn’t said before. It was normal for him to rant and accuse Steve of everything that went wrong in his life, and also the things that weren’t wrong if he was honest. He liked ranting and he thought that Steve got that by now.

But still, it was Monday morning and he wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t know what to expect from Steve today. Normally he would drive over and pick Steve up to drive to work together. He hadn’t heard anything from Steve so the drive would probably be awkward, but he also couldn’t leave his partner stranded so he drove over to Steve’s. Maybe they could talk things out before they would get to work.

When he arrived at Steve’s 15 minutes later those hopes were crushed. Steve wasn’t there and neither was his pickup. Feeling slightly nauseas he got back into his care and drove to HQ.

When he walked in he saw Chin and Kono sitting in the brake room drinking coffee and happily chatting about the weekend. Steve however was in his office and seemed to be working. Danny just stood there for a moment taking in Steve’s stiff shoulders, to straight back and the way he stared at the papers in front of him. This wasn’t good. When Steve looked up and saw Danny he immediately turned back to the papers with a grimace on his face. This was bad. Danny sighed and decided to go to his own office and deal with the paperwork he still needed to finish before that became something else for Steve to be angry about.

 

* * *

 

  

Three hours had gone by in what felt like half an hour when Kono walked in to his office. She sat down in the chair but said nothing. Danny smiled at her and asked: “what’s up Kono? Did we get a case?”.

“No, but the boss sure works like he’s got a case.” And maybe he does Danny thinks. That would explain why he has been so busy this weekend. But he doesn’t say that out loud. He just sits back and tells Kono he’s busy.

“Busy like the boss?” Now what is that supposed to mean, Danny wonders. But instead of saying that he shrugs. “I’m busy” he says again and returns to his paperwork. Kono stays put and glares at him.

“What’s going on Danny?”

“Nothing.”

“Well that’s not true!”

“How would you know?”

“Because the boss has been doing paperwork for 4 hours straight now.” And yes, that does indicate that something is very wrong. So Danny gets up and walks towards Steve’s office. He doesn’t knock when he enters and Steve almost jumps when he hears him. Something is very wrong when Danny can sneak up to Steve without even trying so he sits down on the sofa and asks, “what’s wrong Steve”. He can’t help but notice that he is using the same tone he uses when he tries to get Grace to talk about a particularly bad day.

Steve looks up and glares at him. He’s sitting ramrod straight, his shoulders are tense, he has dark lines under his eyes and his lips are drawn in a tight straight line. Danny stands up and walks over to kneel besides Steve. “Hey, what’s going on Steve? We are getting worried about you. You know you don’t have to go through this alone right? Whatever this is we are here for you. Ohana.” He says the words softly while putting his hand on Steve’s arm and softly squeezing it.

Steve jerks his arm away so hard that Danny stumbles back. When he looks up at Steve he is scared at what he sees. Steve looks furious but underneath that cold anger he can still see the hurt. It’s like a cold shower and he doesn’t know what to do. He just sits there looking at Steve, feeling completely helpless. He sees Steve getting up and walking away, straight out of HQ without even looking at Chin or Kono, without saying a word. He sees the shocked and concerned face of Kono and Chin but nothing seems to really register. Steve is hurt, badly, and it seems like he just made it worse and he just doesn’t understand. He feels like crying. Whatever is going on, Steve doesn’t deserve it. He deserves better. Why does the world have to be such a fucked up place for Steve.

 

* * *

 

Chin and Kono help him up and the three of them are determined to help Steve. They look through the paperwork on his desk, but those are just the cases from last week. When they can’t find any obvious reasons they track Steve’s cell phone but it’s turned off. Danny falls back on the sofa and feels like crying again. Deciding that crying won’t help Steve he turns back to Chin.

“Can you check his phone records for calls on Friday evening or Saturday morning?”

“Sure, but what are we looking for?”

“The reason for Steve to be so hurt” Danny answers as he sits back down.

“How do you know that it happened then?” Kono asks sitting down next to him. That reminds him that he didn’t tell them about Steve coming over that morning. He sighs thinking about how happy and content Steve seemed and now that just doesn’t make sense. If he was happy then, then whatever happened didn’t happen on Friday. So it must have happened Saturday after he left. But the first time he saw Steve this upset was Saturday. Great, now he was getting a headache because that just didn’t make sense. He felt someone nudge him and he realised that Kono was still waiting for an answer. He sighed again and quickly explained how that morning had gone and that he probably forgot something because it didn’t add up. Silence fell and when that finally registered to Danny he looked up to see both Kono and Chin staring at him.

“What?” he asked incredulously. He didn’t forget part of that morning on purpose. He really tried to remember everything. For various reasons, but they didn’t need to know that.

“You’re a real ass you know that?!” Kono said while she got up and walked out without looking back. She was obviously angry, but Danny didn’t know why. He had a headache and it was getting worse. He didn’t need this. He just wanted to help Steve.

He looked up to Chin to saw that the man was still looking at him. Mouth closed now, but he looked hurt. Hurt and concerned. Danny waited. He didn’t want to aggravate his headache and he was sure that this was some stupid island thing that he didn’t understand. Because there really seemed to be a lot he didn’t understand today.

“You don’t see it, do you?” Chin finally asked, his tone neutral, his face a blank mask.

“Why don’t you enlighten me? Because this pineapple infested hell-hole seems to be my doom today.” Danny answers while he lets his head drop in his hands.

“It’s you.” That is all Chin says and all Danny can do is mutter curses about the still being the “haole”.

“No Danny.” Chin says with an unkind undertone in his voice. “This is all you. You are always taking everything out on Hawaii and Steve. Steve has taking you to see all the nice places. He has given you the time and means for you to be a good father to Grace. He has shared more with you then he has with anyone else. He’s spent money on you that he saved all this time. He opened up to you. He gave you everything he has to offer and tried to give you more. But to you have to stay the ‘haole’. You have to make him the bad cop.” Chin sighs. “He gave you everything and more Danny. What do you want from him? What more are you going to ask from him?”

Danny is staring at him. His brain is working overtime. He feels empty. Is this true? Is he saying what he thinks he’s hearing? Is this about him? Did he do this? Did he just ruin the best thing that happened to him since coming to this hellhole?

“What are you saying Chin? He has to ask, has to know that he understands this right.

“You need me to spell it out for you?” Chin asks sounding angry now. “You know what. If this is how it is to you then maybe this is for the best. He deserves better.” And with that Chin walks away.

 

* * *

 

Danny feels cold. He doesn’t know how long he has been sitting there on his own. He doesn’t know where the others are. They never came back. He doesn’t know if they still care. He feels horrible and o so guilty. He hurt Steve. He hurt the Steve while he was supposed to have his back. The man he was trying to protect, the man he cared for. The man that he, if he was completely honest, loved. How did it come to this? How could he fix this?

He got up and went into his office. He sat behind the desk and decided he shouldn’t be a coward. He had wanted to help Steve so he would. He was the reason Steve was hurt so he would leave. He typed a letter of resignation, printed it, signed it and put it on Steve’s desk. Along with a note saying ‘sorry’.

He packed his belongings and left HQ, for the last time. He drove home on autopilot. When he sat down on his couch he realised that this would be where he would spend the rest of his evenings. No more beers at Steve’s place. When he walked over to the fridge to get a beer he realised how long ago it had been that he spent the evening there. Sure, he had usually slept at his apartment but it had been weeks since he ate there. He always ate at Steve’s. Seeing how he didn’t have any food he decided to call the pizza place a couple of blocks away. After he stated his name they asked if he wanted to usual. He swallowed, said no and gave them his address. His usual was half pineapple and half pepperoni, delivered at Steve’s. He collapsed onto his cough and started crying.

Finally the pizza came. Eating helped and so did the beer. At eight Grace called as usual. They chatted for a bit but Grace didn’t sound as enthusiastic as usual. After a while Grace asked if they were going to the zoo with ‘Uncle Steve’ like he had suggested. He looked down and closed his eyes for a minute. He told here that they wouldn’t. They wouldn’t see Steve anymore for a while. He didn’t have the hart to say never. After that Grace was quiet and when they said there good nights she definitely sounded sad.

 

* * *

 

The next morning he woke up late. He felt sad and hollow but he could do this. He needed to do this for Steve. He decided to go running before getting breakfast and when he got back with his malasada’s and coffee he was dripping with sweat and his muscles were acing. He liked it. He eat his breakfast and took a long hot shower before powering up his laptop and checking his email. Het had three new emails, one from his sister, one spam and one from Steve. He nervously opened Steve’s email and saw that it was just one sentence. Het took a deep breath and read it.

“Not coming to work today.” That was all it said. He read it at least seven times to find out what it meant. But he didn’t understand. He just didn’t get why Steve would email him that. So he closed his laptop and went for another run.

When he got back home the light of his cell phone blinked to show that he had 8 new voicemails. He checked the caller ID and saw that 3 messages were from Grace’s school and 5 from Rachel. He grabbed his keys and phone and ran to the car. Panic gripping his heart. He called Rachel but it went to voicemail. He raced to the school and ran inside. When he got to the headmistress office the assistant looked up and then smiled, “you must be detective Williams” she said while getting up.

He nods while trying to catch his breath. The office door opens and when he walks in he sees Rachel and Grace and he quickly walks towards Grace, relieved to see that she’s okay. When he kneels down and looks at her he sees her tearstained face and kisses her forehead.

“Monkey, what’s wrong? What happened?” Grace just starts crying so he takes her into his arms while he sits down on the chair. He rocks her and looks at Rachel. Eyes asking the question he doesn’t want to voice? Rachel shakes her head, she looks a bit said but she doesn’t give a clue as to what the problem is.

When Grace finally quiets down he creates some distance between them so he can look at her. He softly smiles at her and asks again: “what’s wrong Monkey?”

Grace looks at him with her big brown eyes, tears welling up again. Then she looks down and asks quietly “why doesn’t Uncle Steve love me anymore? Did I do something wrong?” She sounds so small and scared it breaks his heart. He lifts up her chin so he can look her in the eyes and tells her that she did nothing wrong. He can see that she doesn’t believe him. That she doesn’t understand. So he takes her in his arms again and explains. He tells her how he hurt Steve and how Steve will be happier without him. She looks up at him at that.

“How can Uncle Steve be happier without you? He always seems happier when you’re around.” She says with big eyes. She wants to understand. So he explains again, he explains how he sometimes says things without thinking and how this time, he ended up saying all the wrong things.

Grace thinks about that for a while. “But Uncle Steve always likes to hear you rant, it makes him smile.” Danny shakes his head. He wants his little girl to understand but he doesn’t know how to explain it any better. “Uncle Steve always smiles when he looks at you Danno. Especially when you are not looking. He smiles the way you used to smile at Mommy.” Danny looks at Grace, a frown on his face. She sounds sure. Like it’s a fact. And she is an observant smart little girl. What if she’s right? Would that mean that he misunderstood the whole situation? It would explain that Steve become upset on Saturday morning. It would also explain what Chin said. And the fact that Steve emailed him. Some detective he was.

Rachel had seen it happening so when he knew he needed to talk to Steve, Rachel had already gotten up and was taking Grace in her arms. “Go!” She told him and he scrambled up. Given her a grateful look and quickly kissing Grace on her forehead before running out.

 

* * *

 

Steve was at home. Or at least his car was. He didn’t see Kono’s car or Chin’s bike so he should be alone. Catherine was back at the Pearl and Doris was still ‘missing’.

He took a deep breath, got out, walked up the steps and knocked on the door. All in one breath, before he lost his nerves. Steve didn’t answer the door so he walked around the house towards the lanai. There he saw him. Steve was lying in his hammock, eyes closed, softly swaying in the wind. He didn’t react so he was probably asleep. He walked towards the cooler, took out a beer and settle down on one of the chairs. He closed his eyes to enjoy the sun and contemplate what he was going to say to Steve when he woke up.

He must have fallen asleep because he woke up to Steve nervously hovering over him. “Sorry, I must have fallen asleep” he says sheepishly while trying to get a read on Steve. But Steve’s face is blank. His eyes are guarded as he sits on the chair next to him. He takes a beer from the cooler and when he doesn’t offer him one he swallows. “Steve…” he starts but he doesn’t know what to say. The words lost in his throat.

Steve just sits there. Staring out over the ocean, drinking his beer. Danny tries not to notice his Adams apple bobbing while he drinks. He tries not to think about that beautiful smile he got from Steve on Saturday morning. He feels like crying. Again.  But he wanted what was best for Steve. And now he thought that maybe Steve wanted to be with him… He had to know. So he swallowed again and started talking.

“Steve, I’m sorry if I hurt you. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. You deserve to be happy.” Before he can continue Steve interrupts him by snorting. And that sort of confirms his suspicions.

“Steve, I understand you are mad at me right now. You have every right to be. I was an ass. Kono and Chin tried to tell me but I didn’t listen. As much as I tell you that you never listen, I think you’re a better listener then I am. I honestly care about you Steve. I want you to be happy. I always thought I knew what made you happy. I never let you tell me what makes you happy. And now I know I’m the one who hurt you. Who made you anything but happy. So I know I don’t have the right to ask you what makes you happy, but I want to know Steve. Because…” He hesitates. He tries to see Steve’s face. He wants to know if he’s on the right track. But Steve is still looking out over the ocean. Maybe he deserves to be in the dark, he thinks as he finishes. “Because I’m happy when you are happy. With or without me.”

He doesn’t dare to look at Steve. He’s afraid of what he will see. He knows that he meant those words, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t hurt like hell to lose Steve. To lose him again, because he already lost the man.

Steve remains silent. From the corner of his eyes he sees Steve’s hands playing with the label on the beer bottle. After what feels like forever he more feels then sees Steve turning towards him. He feels Steve’s eyes on him but he is still afraid to look at him.

“Look at me.” It’s not a question and not an order. But he still feels he doesn’t have any other option then to do it. So he looks up and turns to Steve.

Steve’s face is open and vulnerable. Something Danny never believed to be possible. He swallows as he tries to decipher what he sees is Steve’s eyes.

Steve holds his gaze. He doesn’t blink and he doesn’t move. Then he looks down. Like a rejected puppy. And before Danny can think about what he’s doing he is out of his chair and kneeling next to Steve. He takes Steve’s hand, rubbing circles with his thumbs and he looks up at Steve. He can see Steve is close to crying and that is just wrong. But he is still to scared to actually get up and hug Steven. So he settle for murmuring what are supposed to be soothing words. “It’s okay Steve. I’m so sorry.” He doesn’t know what else to do. When he meets Steve’s eyes he finally sees. He sees the despair, the hurt and all the words Steve can’t say. All the puzzle pieces fall into place as he reaches up, curls his hand around Steve’s neck and massages his neck as he brings Steve’s head down. They kiss. It’s wet and desperate. But it’s the best kiss he ever had. And when they eventually come up for air, breathing heavily into each other’s mouths, Danny whispers: “I love you”.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are very welcome!!!
> 
> I'm happy about Danny, but I think Steve wouldn't let things happen like this. I think he would take more control but since this is from Danny's perspective I don't want to change it. But I'm considering to write a second chapter wherein the story continues but this time from Steve's point of view... Would anyone be interested in that?


End file.
